hi everyone! sorry i havent posted in a few days (as though anyone is awaiting these blog posts) but i was out of the house this weekend!! i went to go see my friend and we saw the new sonicm ovie together, it was so good i cried at the bit where they were both on the moon omg. live and learn might be one of the best songs of all time and me and my friend were singing it full volume out on the street after the movie (it was like 10pm so no one was outside lol). though the jim carrey stuff kinda sucked really hard :( like gerald robotnik isnt a dumb goofy guy in my mind so it didnt fit much at all and it felt like a lotttt of the screen time was focused on jim carrey doing a jim carrey with jim carrey which i didnt care for at all. really the stuff i loved was just adapted from sonic adventure 2 which makes sense because sonic adventure 2 is an amazing game and i love it, you should watch lute's video on it actually, it's so funny! my friend also gave me her blahaj which im naming praline after praline charlotte from one piece, shes so soft n nice to hug omg i'm so happy! i usually cuddle her when i sleep round her house so she asked if i wanted to adopt her and obvi i said yes, omg my friends so lovely shes the best!!
in a sign of my absolutely super mental health i developed a new oc who has now become my daughter oughh. shes a dumb little weeaboo who i design as a parody of all the purple haired breakcore artists who popped up riding the sewerslvt wagon. her name's Margaret though she calls herself ASVNA and her breakcore artist name is shitbedslag (which my friend said off the top of her head and i found really funny). i also made a song influenced by her which was fun, im still improving my breakchopping which is good, perhaps i will be a real breaker someday, but oh my god for some reason trying to get some like anime samples to put in the song was so hellish for some reason, it was actually crazy how much trouble it was giving me ughhh. speaking of breakcore it'd be cool to play at a rave or something at somepoint, though idk if my music is like good enough for people to dance to yet, theres this one rave called nanashi disco that i like going to a lot n its the reason i started even making DnB stuff to begin with so maybe someday i will boss up and try n play there, that'd be so cool. i have a driving lesson tomorrow but this weathers dreadful its totally chucking it down atm ;-; oh well i guess you gotta learn to drive in those conditions.
another day, another dysphoria moment... jeeez... Hopefully I stop being so down in the dumps sometime soon, maybe one day i will blow up online and everyone will go "wow rose your so pretty and cool and awesome" eheheheh >:3 maybe idk... so far no ones interacted with my reddit post which is really dismaying, idk what to try when it comes to marketting my stuff and the stuff i try never seems to work out :(. I posted a selfie for that 2020 vs 2024 thing and despite the fact that im like 18 or so months on hrt now I don't really look any different ;-; that also didn't get any traction. i don't know what i'm doing wrong, it sucks!! im really jealous of those people who can post whatever and build a following off of it, i know it probably has its downsides or whatever but its better than being bored and unknown and obscure... Oh!! on another note, skibidi toilet is coming to fortnite so me and my friend are hopefully gonna play it together tomorrow, im hyped even if i will not be spending money to get any of the costumes lmao. my breakcore listening continues also, i've been listening to this playlist a bunch (i'm on track 182 of 491 as im typing this) my brains going to mush a little from all the new songs n breakbeats :3. i've also been trying to get better at chopping up beats so i can get more into breakcore type stuff, there's a lot of other trans women in that scene so it'd be nice to be a part of it!
Ok so turns out i misread shit super hard, she doesn't like me at all and just think i was dumb ;-; oh well we move on. had another dysphoria moment today, shit got so bad i ended up drawing a rlly awful troonjak of myself, shit was like demonic in nature so im glad i deleted it and drew some nicer pictures of myself after. I guess it's better than cutting myself or doing drugs but i do have to live with the fact that i summoned a demon into this world atleast for a little bit lol. good thing is that i took a picture of my immediately after drawing it and it looked nothing like me so we win for real! Also!! posted my album Rosebot Vol. 1 to the DnB subreddit, hoping they like it! i really gotta get better at self promotion though, i hate doing it soooo much.
Today my latest album, Rosebot Vol. 1 came out, yippee!! though unfortunately i spent most of today curled up in bed crying and listening to sewerslvt :(. i did manage to make some cute songs today using Vital Synth (i watched a video about using it and got inspired to make my own synths again). also the girl i was talking about before messaged me back, she asked if i was autistic lmao idk, we didnt talk too much but its playing around in my head alot, guhhh embarassing. also drew a cute picture with my bestie, yippeee
Started talking to a girl I haven't talked to in like months, unfortuantely she makes my heart all like tight and my stomach all blehhh when I talk to her, it's really strange ;-;. Poor rose, thing's will get better soon, I hope...
Wahoo! My first blog post, I love making website!! Had a plumber at my house all day today and yesterday guhhh, having people round makes me feel so awkard. Had to go out today so I boguht myself a coffee and a rockyroad yippeeee, also got some smoked salmon so I'm really hyped about that! Trying to listen to more DnB / Jungle / Liquid / whatever the freak atm, been listening to a bunch of Sewerslvt today.