from red to black

26/02/25

I dyed my hair black, which is the major point of this entry. You may say "rose that's not very important" but then again none of the stuff i've posted before is important at all and is infact very pointless. this however is extremely important because now everytime i look at myself i go "wow, baddie alert" which is fucking awesome, if you're ever feeling down about shit just dye your hair black and you'll probably maybe feel better, idk i dont know you at all lol. I was reading the blog of this musician Lex Walton, i listened to her album 'I Want You To Kill Me' for the first time yesterday while scrolling through the RYM slacker rock charts and i think i've developed a weird insane person facsination with her, maybe idk. I have a lot of envy for people who can turn their mental illness stuff into cool art and music and interesting writing, mine just makes me kinda wanna curl up into a ball and let everything decay. I've started working on Rose Orlando album 4 (tenatively titled 'the rose orlando album')(Rose Orlando 3, which at one point was called 'Paper Witches' is not out yet but I'm in the process of getting cover art sorted for it and it should be out by July 1st), not to spoil it for all 0 people reading this and all 0 people who'll listen but! It's going to be a complete hodgepodge mess, I'm hoping for about 30 songs, none of them will have a consistent style to them I hope, and they'll all be short songs (like two minutes or so, though its not a strict rule and it's mostly just so it doesn't drag toooo much). I want it to be a real cut myself and bleed out into the logic project type deal, I think weirdness and vulnerability and shit like that is what i've been missing, maybe i can do this and gain some sorta fanbase, that'd be really awesome and i'd never feel bad ever ever again (lie). Today I recorded 3 songs with vocals and 3 instrumentals that i'm hoping I can record vocals for tomorrow, the way I've been working it has been to just spew every thought that comes into my head into a note doc and then come back to it later and fit it into an instrumental, this sometimes means i reaaalllyyy gotta smash those words together though lol. anyways, it'll be something only I could've made and I hope that'll come through when people listen to it (if they listen to it). Oh yeah, me and that girl stopped talking to each other, but it's chill, lifes a revolving door of women coming into your life, taking over your heart and then leaving so i'm fine, theres plenty of fish in the sea or whatever. plus, i went to a rave again after too too long and madeout with people the whole night and dressed pretty and felt really good so nothing can ever truly be that bad in life. I'm going to go see teen suicide in leeds this coming month (maybe manchester too, i have a ticket i just dont know how i'm gonna get there lol) so if you're somehow reading this and somehow also going to that show, come say hi to me, I promise i'm a very friendly girl! I should write some more stuff on my roselisten page, maybe the strokes, or guided by voices next? Maybe i write about 'I Want You To Kill Me', however, I'd probably sound insane if i talked about it right now so maybe it's best not to. Anyhow, love everyone forever, Rose Orlando out!

new single out march 1st btw, go listen to it when it's out

Valentine's Day

14/02/25

Almost a month, guh... Please forgive me... I've been doing pretty well recently, I'm not doing anything today for valentine's day but I am going on a date tomorrow which I'm excited about!! It's with the girl I was talking about last post, she's called - and awawaw she's the sweetest ever!! I also started playing Signalis because it's her favourite game, I just beat it like an hour ago it was really great, I really love the music and artstyle and atmosphere and story but the combat is a little uh not great, especially when i had to refight the last boss cos the game crashed during the ending cutscene ough... I also started playing Balatro which is really fun, even if sometimes it gives me the worst hands ever sighhhh. I really should do some more stuff with this website but I have no clue what...

Two Weeks....

18/01/25

I promise I've not forgotten about this blog or website! I'm just reaallyyy lazy... I have been making a bunch of music lately though, probably averages to about a song a day this year hehehe, though i still dont have the next Rose Orlando single recorded just yet, ouuughh... I had my meeting with my GP and she refered me to a GIC so i just gotta wait for that, idk how long that's gonna take though guhhh. Also, allegedly according to the weighing machine at the surgery I've lost 10 pounds since i weighed myself, awesome yayyy :3. I started this youth skills course thing, it was fine but kinda boring and a little awkward cos no one wanted to talk lmao idk whats up with people these days - also it was one of those things where it's obviously for people who struggled in school which i didnt, not to sound like egotistical or anything. I also started talking to a girl who i think likes me, certainly infinitely more than the last girl i talked about oughh, she's really sweet and pretty and she does really cool music and art and poetry. She wrote me a poem which is like the sweetest thing ever and made me cry and i've done nothing but think about it and her ever since i read it.

New Year 2025!

4/01/25

oh my goodness, 2025! happy new year! sorry ive not updated this in a few days, i'm still actually kinda ill even though i was taking penicillin, hoping it goes away this weekend or else i will be in a bit of a pickle huh... anyways!! new years resolutions:

New Rose Orlando Every Month! 'I Like You' out now!

New Rosebot Every Month! 'Set You Off' out January 15th!

Gonna try and snack less and lose some weight which i'm hoping means i look less broad and wide and helps me pass a little better and also wear cute clothes

Gonna try and atleast get on the path of getting SRS, i've already booked a meeting with my GP to get referred to a GIC which is step number one!

Get back to being fun and socialable instead of moody and sad! i got all wound up thinking that kissing too many girls was making me all sad and empty but then i stopped kissing girls and i still feel empty and sad and now im not even kissing girls about it! FIX IT!

Start driving, my test is in february so wish me luck!

i've been really into sonic recently, been listening to the soundtracks a bunch and thinking about the characters- especially amy rose, who i love!!! and surge the tenrec who i know like nothing about but she has the coolest design so i love her a bunch. i started playing frontiers which has been fun though open world games are really my thing too much, the cyberspace levels have been a lot of fun to play and the game gives me a lot of sonic adventure vibes and i loooooove sa2 as you know from a couple posts back. I also got a new phone, it was a real headache setting it up but i've got music on it now which is like most of what i use a phone for anyways so i'm happy, it's also fun having a pink phone case and background, gives me a boost of like gender euphoria its great. Just had to go retrieve a parcel from outside in the snow because the delivery guy left it out the side of my house instead of in the porch, oughhhh terrible, hopefully it still works.

Owch my head!

27/12/24

hiii everyone, sorry for no updates the last... FIVE DAYS?? jeez im sorry, what with christmas and my head totally killing me this past week i've forgotten all about updating you all, sorry!! to give you the quick update, i played a couple of visual novels on christmas day Passion Paradox and, Milk inside a bag of milk inside a bag of milk and Milk outside a bag of milk outside a bag of milk. I loved both games a bunch! they're both great and you should all check them !! luckily my friend's been watching anime and youtube with me on hyperbeam which has made me feel a little less lonely as of late yipppeee i hope this headache goes away soon, all i can do is sleep and bunch and drink a lot of water. Also! i made a dj mix for this rave i wanna go to, i'm really hopeful they'll let me, if you wanna take a listen here you go!

Sonic 3 (featuring Shadow)

22/12/24

hi everyone! sorry i havent posted in a few days (as though anyone is awaiting these blog posts) but i was out of the house this weekend!! i went to go see my friend and we saw the new sonicm ovie together, it was so good i cried at the bit where they were both on the moon omg. live and learn might be one of the best songs of all time and me and my friend were singing it full volume out on the street after the movie (it was like 10pm so no one was outside lol). though the jim carrey stuff kinda sucked really hard :( like gerald robotnik isnt a dumb goofy guy in my mind so it didnt fit much at all and it felt like a lotttt of the screen time was focused on jim carrey doing a jim carrey with jim carrey which i didnt care for at all. really the stuff i loved was just adapted from sonic adventure 2 which makes sense because sonic adventure 2 is an amazing game and i love it, you should watch lute's video on it actually, it's so funny! my friend also gave me her blahaj which im naming praline after praline charlotte from one piece, shes so soft n nice to hug omg i'm so happy! i usually cuddle her when i sleep round her house so she asked if i wanted to adopt her and obvi i said yes, omg my friends so lovely shes the best!!

my awful dotter

18/12/24

in a sign of my absolutely super mental health i developed a new oc who has now become my daughter oughh. shes a dumb little weeaboo who i design as a parody of all the purple haired breakcore artists who popped up riding the sewerslvt wagon. her name's Margaret though she calls herself ASVNA and her breakcore artist name is shitbedslag (which my friend said off the top of her head and i found really funny). i also made a song influenced by her which was fun, im still improving my breakchopping which is good, perhaps i will be a real breaker someday, but oh my god for some reason trying to get some like anime samples to put in the song was so hellish for some reason, it was actually crazy how much trouble it was giving me ughhh. speaking of breakcore it'd be cool to play at a rave or something at somepoint, though idk if my music is like good enough for people to dance to yet, theres this one rave called nanashi disco that i like going to a lot n its the reason i started even making DnB stuff to begin with so maybe someday i will boss up and try n play there, that'd be so cool. i have a driving lesson tomorrow but this weathers dreadful its totally chucking it down atm ;-; oh well i guess you gotta learn to drive in those conditions.

Keep Your Head Up, Princess

17/12/24

another day, another dysphoria moment... jeeez... Hopefully I stop being so down in the dumps sometime soon, maybe one day i will blow up online and everyone will go "wow rose your so pretty and cool and awesome" eheheheh >:3 maybe idk... so far no ones interacted with my reddit post which is really dismaying, idk what to try when it comes to marketting my stuff and the stuff i try never seems to work out :(. I posted a selfie for that 2020 vs 2024 thing and despite the fact that im like 18 or so months on hrt now I don't really look any different ;-; that also didn't get any traction. i don't know what i'm doing wrong, it sucks!! im really jealous of those people who can post whatever and build a following off of it, i know it probably has its downsides or whatever but its better than being bored and unknown and obscure... Oh!! on another note, skibidi toilet is coming to fortnite so me and my friend are hopefully gonna play it together tomorrow, im hyped even if i will not be spending money to get any of the costumes lmao. my breakcore listening continues also, i've been listening to this playlist a bunch (i'm on track 182 of 491 as im typing this) my brains going to mush a little from all the new songs n breakbeats :3. i've also been trying to get better at chopping up beats so i can get more into breakcore type stuff, there's a lot of other trans women in that scene so it'd be nice to be a part of it!

Ough...

16/12/24

Ok so turns out i misread shit super hard, she doesn't like me at all and just think i was dumb ;-; oh well we move on. had another dysphoria moment today, shit got so bad i ended up drawing a rlly awful troonjak of myself, shit was like demonic in nature so im glad i deleted it and drew some nicer pictures of myself after. I guess it's better than cutting myself or doing drugs but i do have to live with the fact that i summoned a demon into this world atleast for a little bit lol. good thing is that i took a picture of my immediately after drawing it and it looked nothing like me so we win for real! Also!! posted my album Rosebot Vol. 1 to the DnB subreddit, hoping they like it! i really gotta get better at self promotion though, i hate doing it soooo much.